The Best of 2013

2013: A year without blogging.

2013 was a mixed bag.  It felt like a perpetual swing between bliss and sadness, with a whole lot of treading water.  I can't exactly say why there was no blogging in 2013, there just simply wasn't.  In reflecting on the year, and in respecting the lessons I keep learning along life's winding road... I bring you my very best of 2013.  (In order of events, not importance.)

1)  The light of my life turned 5.  When she was born, she was already a sister.  At the time it seemed fitting that she was named for sisters.  Her names mean Torch, Shining Light, and Strength.  As she has grown I can't stop thinking of how strongly those names fit her.  She is my light.

2)  We found out that our new baby was a boy.  Honestly, Matt and I were a little scared to be having a boy.  We were thinking we were just starting to get a handle on this girl thing.  The girls on the other hand wanted a brother most, because as they said, "We already have a sister."

3)  We took an Adventure.  In April we went to the East Coast.  We took two weeks and bounced from Baltimore to Philadelphia to Hampton, Va. and back.  It was a wonderful trip.  We spent good quality time with all of our East Coast family.  I wish we could do it more often.  

4)  Matt brought Kidical Mass to Tacoma and started leading family bike rides all over town.  He organized 6 rides in 2013.  We're looking forward to the rides of 2014.

5)  My ballerina was a Sea Turtle.  In the Metro Parks version of "James and the Giant Peach," Tula's ballet class had the role of the sea turtles.  I think this fell into the "artistic license" category of children's theatre as I don't ever recall sea turtles in the Peach story... but they were darn cute little turtles!

6)  We tore out a wall to build a new one.  (And by we I mean Matt and our neighbor.)  It was pretty awesome to see the progress and see the room quickly change shape.

7)  I grew a tiny human.  Pregnancy is miraculous.  There's just no other words.  The fact that I was able to grow three perfect little beings still just renders me speechless.

8)  We became a family of 5.  After a very long last month of pregnancy, Malcolm arrived.  I remember all the anticipation of expecting my first to deliver any day; that was nothing compared to the anticipation felt by all 4 of us for the delivery of this beautiful boy.  Our family is now complete, and I can't get over how much my love grows for these three beautiful babies every.single.day.  

9)  Our anual family trip to the beach went off without a hitch, even with the addition of a newborn.   

10)  We celebrated our 10th anniversary.  It's been a good and eventful 10 years.  I'm excited to see what the next 10 has in store for us.  

11)  My big girl turned 8.  Honestly, it's been a rough year for this one.  Ever since she was a baby she has been acutely aware and impacted by the unspoken "energy" or mood of life around her.  As Matt and I stumbled sleeplessly through being new parents again, she tried to find her way in her new role as biggest sister.  She's independent and brilliant and anxious and kind.  It's so hard to see her struggle with growing up.  One day she wants to play dolls and have tea parties.  The next she wants to make her own lunch and organize her closet.  I see her struggle with the same things I remember struggling with.  As a parent, one of the hardest things is gently guiding your children without them knowing; trying to avoid the same pitfalls you fell into yourself.  I'm afraid of letting her grow up.  I want to keep her my baby forever.  She humors me, for now.  

12)  School started.  This is always, always, always, one of the greatest parts of the year.  It's funny how school getting out in the summer and school starting in the fall are both so strongly cheered.

13)  A family trip to the fair.  The lights of the Luminasia exhibit brought me joy during a time when I really needed it.  It's hard not to love glowing 5 foot tall tulips; my grandma would have liked them.

14)  A sign of fall.  These little caterpillars are a symbol of my early childhood.  I loved them.  Every fall I would cradle them in my hand and call them my "buddies."  They are inextricably tied to the most important people of my childhood.  This particular "buddy" was picked up by Gwen, on a day when I didn't want to get out of bed, swimming in grief.  I had gotten out of bed though, pulled myself together and took the family to the pumpkin patch.  She didn't know what those little critters meant to me when she shouted "Hey Mom! Look what I found!"  I knew what it was even before she got it over to me.  My heart swelled.  Just when I needed it, the universe had reminded me that even if I can't have my loved ones in the flesh, I can always find them in my memories.  I told Gwen how special those are to me and I could see her fill with pride for finding it.  I cried a little there in the mud of the pumpkin patch.  Gwen asked me later "Are you sad that I found that caterpillar, or are you happy I found him?"  I told her I was both.

15)  Someone worked my Halloween shift for me!  I love Halloween.  I love everything about it.

16)  My favorite chimney sweep.  Gwen was a singing dancing chimney sweep in the school's production of Mary Poppins.  It was fantastic.  

17)  Love notes.  I get love notes all the time.  On my pillow, on my work bag... where ever they think I'll find them.    

18)  I had Christmas off!  Having to work Christmas every other year makes you really appreciate having it off.  

19)  This...

20)  and this...

21)  and this...

22) and this...

Happy New Year!  I wish you all the best for 2014!

Just the Beginning

Gwen's big Christmas box did not contain a bicycle like her sister.  Her box contained two gifts.  The two things at the very top of her Christmas list; a talking baby doll, and an iPod.  Wrapped separately and then placed in the giant box so as to not be out gifted by her sister.  The choice of these two things to be at the top of her list seemed curious to me.  At once, both little kid and big kid... knowing that she can't go wrong asking for another baby and knowing that getting a baby for Christmas probably doesn't have the same wow factor as an iPod.

Gwen's at an interesting age right now; very aware of equality and fairness, very in tune to what her friends are doing and saying.  She's alternating at every second, between tantrum throwing toddler and hormonal teen, intermixed with a cool headed kid helping me pick out shoes at the mall...It's a crazy age and it's difficult as a parent, to witness all of this and pick the right battles.  Explaining that "life isn't always fair" feels ridiculous, because I still want it to be fair.  But I know she has to know that.  She has to know that she won't always win.  Other kids will have different skills than she will and she won't always do everything best.  These are things that I still struggle with myself, which is probably also something important for her to know... Someday.  All the while, we're trying to encourage her strength and her independence among her many other talents.  It's exhausting.


My sister-in-law stumbled upon this article the other day.  And just when I needed it most, I got to read about middle childhood.  Like a night out with a bunch of fellow mothers; reassurance. They're learning how, they're taking mental notes, they'll be grown in a blink.  She's stuck in the middle; trying on the grown up words, reading her chapter books with her iPod on, and still wanting to play dolls with Tula.  I can't wait to see who she becomes.

All of us have moments in our childhood where we come alive for the first time. And we go back to those moments and think, This is when I became myself.  

-Rita Dove

Adventures in Homeschooling Day 3

Matt and Gwen passing out oatmeal chocolate
chip cookies for our teachers.

Today was fairly low key.  Gwen and I are managing the start of a head cold so most of the day was devoted to movies and books.  We watched a great National Geographic Special on volcanos that Gwen (and I) thought was awesome.  We finally watched Secretariat; nice flick.  Matt got up early and made cookies for the teachers.  We brought the cookies to them around noon.  They were very grateful, as many told us that they weren't going to have time to get lunch due to them having to be elsewhere (for negotiations or meetings).  It felt good to get out there and talk to them.  To tell them to keep it up.

I've been rather consumed with the negotiations, or lack there of (http://weteachtacoma.org/2011/09/15/tacoma-teachers-offer-new-proposal-school-board-offers-nothing/).  Since we don't have cable I haven't been watching the news, only reading it from internet sources.  I'm really feeling for my neighborhood teachers.  It's an often thankless, frustrating, emotionally draining job that rarely gets the respect that it deserves.    I've read the complaint over and over that both sides are putting the children in the middle.  The children are in the middle, of course they are.  It's their classroom, their teacher, their education; anyway you slice it- the kids are in the middle.  The kids have to be in the middle, otherwise it's not about the kids!  UGH!

All of the drama with the "us and them" union vs. district garbage just has my stomach in knots waiting for my own union contract to expire in December.  All of us nurses are well aware of the battle that is coming; looming like a thunder cloud waiting to clap.  Last contract was hard enough; we spent months without a contract because the negotiations weren't going anywhere.  The thing I keep repeating to myself is that I am SO grateful that my contract negotiations are, for the most part, hidden away from the media.  We nurses usually don halos, in the eyes of the public.  But if our employers were allowed to ridicule our intentions to the media the way the school district does, it would get really ugly really fast.  It's all rather depressing.

Adventures in Homeschooling Day 2

My box fort is cooler than your box fort!

Today was a task list and I was at work.  Here's what the fam did while I was away:

• Showers
• Breakfast
• Dishes
• Harvested beans, peas and strawberries from the garden
• Walked Frankie
• Birthday Thank You cards/work book pages
• Stripped sheets/laundry
• Lunch!  
• Bike ride to the library
• Rang our bells for the Teachers at Hoyt
• Stamped and mailed Thank You cards at the Post Office
• Played at Puget Park with other "homeschoolers"
• Rang our bells for the Teachers at Mason
• Bike ride home
• Nap for Tula/Reading for Gwen
• Party in the box fort
• Play with the private school neighbor kid who went to school today
• Dinner



Party in the box fort!

• Kids played outside while we decide if our daughter was going to school or not; answer: Not.

Thank you TEA/TPSD for giving us a lesson in right and wrong.  We will be homeschooling our little girl again on thursday, with a field trip to the lines.  Take care teachers, we are with you.


"The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind." -Kahlil Gibran 

Top 10

We are constantly learning new things.  Sometimes we fight it, sometimes we welcome it.  Some lessons are worth sharing.   In the spirit of this, I will give you the top 10 things that I have learned this year.

10) Overstock.com is like Toys'R'Us for grown ups.  Only better.  And cheaper.  Overstock may rival Etsy as my resource for awesome.  But nothing really will ever surpass Etsy.

9) Nothing beats doing crafts with my kids.  The look of accomplishment on their sweet little faces is priceless.  The way they show projects off to anyone who comes over to visit...  However, being the perfectionist that I am, I find crafts with children one of the most stressful things I could do with my time.  I'm glad that I do it.  I know the girls will appreciate it later in life.  But it really is a pain in the ass.  I hate glitter.  I loathe dried glue on counter tops.  And in the end,  where in the heck am I supposed to put this crap that we've made?  When you get *beautiful handmade artwork* for christmas this year, you will know why.

8) The Nintendo Wii may be the best thing that I've purchased in many years.  It wins hands down in all categories.  Cost per use, ease of use, versatility... you name it.  And it's allegiance to Netflix, well, that was just genius.

7) Human lactation is perhaps the most amazing thing that humans can do.  The more I learn about it the more I am awed.  Not only can a woman grow a small human inside her own body, but she can then continue to grow that human giving it everything it can possibly need.  And perhaps more amazingly, she still wants to feed and nurture this creature after it's made its brutal way out of her body.  Just amazing.

6) Cougar Gold is the best thing to come out of Pullman, Wa.  Perhaps that's cheating.  I've known that for years.  It was just reinforced this year when my 2 year old decided that it's the best cheese ever.  

5) I start more projects than I can possibly finish.  Currently, my front porch floor is half stripped of 85 years of paint.  My guest room trim boards are half stripped of paint and stain.  The basement crap has been sorted, re-organized and abandoned multiple times over.  Truth is, home projects are my therapy.  Perhaps the fact that it's unfinished simply means that I found closure in what ever was troubling me...  perhaps.  Or maybe my arms were just too tired to finish and the fumes got a little too thick. 

4) My husband is a domestic God.

3) I'm pretty sure that my dogs cost me more money this year than my kids.  Yep, pretty sure.

2) Having both of my sisters live on the East Coast sucks.  A lot.

1) Kids are hard.  They make my heart burst. They make my blood boil.  Loving someone so much, even when they wake you up every day hours before your alarm... Teaching a person to be an independent thinker while in the same breath you are telling them to do what you tell them to do... it becomes so challenging that most days I think my head might explode!  But miraculously, it doesn't.