Roots

These trees rip at my heart.  They drag to the surface all of my buried grief, all of my feelings of fragility and strength.

I have been muddling through this years joys and losses, often having the two greying each other.   Within weeks of each other, I have lost two beloved women who helped shape the person I am, the mother I am.  Their guidance was largely unspoken.  I cannot recall a single time in my life, even as a child,  that either of them told me what to do.  They taught me through example and through constant presence even from a far.  They never doted on me, but I always felt their love.  They were imperfect people, but I loved them all the more for it.  They knew how to love, but they both struggled with letting themselves be loved.

Not a day goes by that I don't identify with these trees; shaped, nourished, and nurtured by the invisible strength of those that came before me.

Summer Recap 3.0

The annual visit from the cousins!!

It all goes by so fast...

My kids look forward to the annual visit from the cousins almost as much as they look forward to their birthdays.  And I look forward to it much much more than my birthday.  The only down side to the visit is that we pack so much into it that before we know it they're boarding their plane for home.  This year my fab sister and I did a driving tour of Wa101, nearly completing the full northern loop.  We overnighted in the Hoh River Rainforest and then met up with the rest of the family at Seabrook.  Later in the visit we spent tons of time camping (and fishing).  We BBQ'd with the extended family and partied in the backyard whenever we could.  It was glorious.  I can't wait for the visit next summer!

My sis and my baby.

The crazy first borns.

Spooky rainforest.

The furry jungle

As green above as it is green underneath.

The Hoh River.

It just goes, and goes, and goes...

My sister, keeping me laughing.

A key hole at Ruby Beach.

Random find: Ruby Beach.  Perhaps the best
beach in Washington.

Beauty.

More of Ruby Beach.

Hitchin' a ride.

Such brilliant kids we have.

Crazy kids, that water was FREEZING.

 But they were successful.
(He went back in the hole)

Illegal clam diggers.

My Mama

Pure Joy

Summer snow on the pass as we headed
to the campground.

Hitchin' another ride.

Exhausted hikers.

Ready.

Patiently waiting for her first fish.  It didn't happen.

Zzzzzz....

There may be some common traits in the fam... and I'm not just talking about the snoring...

Nostalgia

Nostalgia.  Is it odd to long to know a history that isn't your own?  To wonder about a life that led to your own but only indirectly impacted this life?  My grandfather died before my birth and I've always felt cheated by it.  I've been acutely aware all of my life, that I was the only grandchild that he never met.  I form a memory of him through stories and memories others have lent me, but I still wonder what he sounded like... what he would have told me, only me.

Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that the passing of a great woman, a woman my grandfather held in the highest regards, has rattled me a bit.  I've read letters that my mother has of their correspondence during WWII.  She was his sister-in-law, and apparently she was wonderful.  I know little more of her than the couple times I met her in person, and the warm letters she would send me every year after her receipt of our christmas card.  My cousin found this article in the local newspaper that she wrote a couple years ago about her war time contribution.  Reading it makes me proud.  What an amazing and painful time to live through.  What amazing things she watched happen to and around the world.

Not surprisingly, her death makes me reflect on my own life.  What would an article about my "war time contribution" look like?  Does any correspondence with my brother-in-law during his time in the desert even still exist?  In this time of instant communication, will anything tangible even exist to prove history? My history?

All the same, it is with a heavy heart that I bid Aunt Barb adieu.  And congratulations on a life well lived.

Happy October!

Ok, now I'm starting to get in the holiday spirit.  Bring on the pumpkins.  This weekend we headed south to Vancouver for a visit with family.  It was fantastic.  Saturday we went to BI-ZI farms for a pumpkin patch experience like no other.  We've been to a few patches in our day, but this one was pretty exceptional.  We had a blast.  I snapped lots of pictures, and I had some helpers snap a few for me.  Here are my favorites.  On Sunday, we headed to Portland for a visit to OMSI.  We were a bit overwhelmed with all that is OMSI, and we left feeling like we had only seen and done a fraction of what was possible.  I guess that's a good thing; we know we'll have lots to do there next time.  

Birthday-palooza

A much belated birthday post for my big girl.  I'm just going to let the photos speak for themselves...